


How Remus Fell in Love with Sirius

by simplysirius



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Feels, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Heavy Angst, M/M, One Shot, Pining, Relationship(s), Remus x Sirius, sirius x remus, wolfstar, wolfstar angst, wolfstar fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-09
Updated: 2021-03-09
Packaged: 2021-03-16 09:42:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,264
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29948094
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/simplysirius/pseuds/simplysirius
Summary: Remus promises himself he won’t make friends, he won’t fall in love, and he won’t give himself the opportunity to hurt anyone while he’s at Hogwarts. Meeting Sirius Black makes it impossible to keep those promises.
Relationships: Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Comments: 1
Kudos: 51





	How Remus Fell in Love with Sirius

**Author's Note:**

> Follow me on Tumblr @simplysirius for daily fics and fan art! I also take requests :)

Remus used to spend hours as a kid watching terrible romance movies, reading magazines in the queue at the grocery store with stories of the kings and queens of the world falling in love, humming along to cheesy songs and dancing around his room holding a stuffed animal to his chest.

Dreaming about love and falling in love were two very different things. Dreaming about love was easy, thinking about finding his princess and sweeping her off her feet, a happily ever after worthy of their own storybook. Falling in love was harder, especially when his princess turned into a prince, his heart protected by barbed wire, locked behind bars of steel, the key long since discarded.

Sirius Black was not who Remus thought he would fall in love with.

But thank god he did.

It wasn’t like in the movies; Remus and Sirius didn’t lock eyes and realize they were perfect soul mates, two missing pieces of a puzzle. They were two boys, broken into infinitesimal pieces, sure, but their edges were jagged and mismatched; no matter which way they jammed together, nothing worked right.

Sirius didn’t know how to love; he couldn’t possibly know how. Remus knew how to love; he couldn’t possibly allow himself the privilege.

Sirius only knew that people hurt him, time and time again. Remus only knew that he could hurt people, promising to never give himself the opportunity.

Pushing people away was easy. Keeping them away was not.

“Do you like raspberry scones?” First year Sirius asked him their first morning at Hogwarts, their faces so close together Remus’ vision was blurry.

“What?” He said, blinking slowly, Remus’ voice still raspy with sleep. He rolled back in his bed, putting space between him and Sirius, furrowing his eyebrows.

“I heard they have raspberry scones downstairs,” Sirius explained, “I thought we could get breakfast together.”

Remus only then noticed Sirius’ mismatched shoes, but he didn’t comment. “You should go ahead, I have to shower.”

He pretended not to notice Sirius’ cheeky smile slip as he retreated to the bathroom, shutting the door. When he emerged some time later, golden curls damp on his head, Remus stopped short in the doorway.

Sirius sat on his bed, a bag in hand. “I got ‘em. Hope you like clotted cream.”

Remus blinked, slowly approaching the effervescent boy grinning widely at his selection. “Clotted cream is my favorite.”

“Mine too!” Sirius handed Remus his scone. “Cheers.”

They tapped their scones together and chewed quietly, smiling at each other when the flavor burst over their tongues, and neither was embarrassed about licking the jam off their fingers when they finished.

“Thanks,” Remus finally said, cheeks flushed almost as pink as the raspberries. “Do you wanna walk to transfiguration together?”

Remus decided that he could be friends with Sirius, in the simplest form of the word. They would eat together, spend time outside of class together, and laugh about stupid inside jokes together, but that was it. No secrets. No hidden agendas. Lies burned Remus’ mouth, but it was better than scarring Sirius.

Until third year, when Remus had run out of fibs and couldn’t possibly explain to the two boys draped in the Invisibility Cloak why he was dragging himself to the Whomping Willow at dusk, his knees wobbling under his weight.

He suspected that would be the end of whatever friendship he had built with Sirius.

This would be the final push that would keep Sirius away.

And once again, Remus was wrong.

Sirius didn’t flinch when Remus said what was really happening, only rushing to his side when a sharp pain tearing through Remus’ stomach prompted a cry from his lips. Remus shook him off, insisting he would explain more tomorrow, and continued his lonely journey to the Shack.

The next day, Remus’ eyelashes fluttered, and the blurry ceiling of the infirmary opened above him, but the picture was still wrong.

“Morning, Remus,” Sirius murmured quietly, pushing the disheveled curls out of his eyes.

“What are you doing here?” Remus mumbled, slowly blinking in the bright light filtering in from the window. Mornings after full moons were normally lonely as Remus laid in bed, listening to doors slamming and students’ voices echoing down the hall, listening to the world move on without him.

Sirius shrugged, like the answer should have been obvious, like McGonagall wasn’t going to kill him for skipping class. Instead, he held up a brown bag. “I brought you breakfast.”

Remus didn’t open the bag, still too weak and nauseous to even think about eating, but he could smell the sweet jam and fresh raspberries lingering in the air. Sirius stayed with him the whole day, not minding lapsing into silence when Remus dozed off mid-conversation, making sure he had enough water and his pillows were fluffed accordingly when he was awake.

It was the first time Remus felt an ache in his chest. Something that couldn’t be cured with a spell from Madame Pomfrey, or a pill from his mother’s medicine cabinet. The ache ebbed and dulled like the tide, sometimes just splashing against his toes, other times washing over him like a wave, pulling him deep into the undertow.

It took time to learn why.

It took time to understand that Sirius was both the reason his body hurt and the antidote.

Standing next to him dulled the ache for only a moment before Remus’ fingers longed to touch Sirius’ skin, but staying far away, hiding in the deepest recesses of the castle, tugged on every muscle, begging him to go closer.

And then finally, the summer before their fifth year, the ache in Remus’ chest grew. What once was a slight crack was now a canyon tearing his heart into two pieces, no way over or around, only through, falling down the steep sides, clawing his way up to the other side. But Sirius didn’t let him make the trek alone; they built a bridge, instead.

Laying in bed next to Sirius was something so familiar to Remus after five years. It had started to keep the nightmares away, but quickly turned into a habit until Sirius didn’t even bother trying to sleep in his own bed. It was a sensation Remus hadn’t realized he would miss so deeply until he spent long summer nights tossing and turning, too cold and then too hot without Sirius beside him.

But that year, Remus found himself having a difficult time falling asleep, too enraptured watching the way the moonlight pooled on Sirius’ alabaster skin, the way his chest slowly rose and fell, the flush of his cheeks against Remus’ shoulder. Why would he waste time sleeping when he could be staring at Sirius?

One night, Remus is almost caught when Sirius wakes suddenly, his eyes narrowed and his lips puckered. It’s a strange look, not one that usually follows after a nightmare, and his skin isn’t slick with sweat against Remus’ body. He glanced up at Remus.

“You’re my best friend,” he whispered, and no sooner did the words leave his mouth did his eyes fall shut again, and he was softly snoring only moments later.

Remus knew there was no point in pretending anymore, no point in lying or torturing himself to ignore the obvious. In that silent moment laying in the dark, listening to the steady rhythm of Sirius’ heartbeat, that Remus knows. He knows, and it’s scary, but it’s magical, too.

Remus Lupin fell in love with Sirius Black despite every rule, every promise, every secret, because some things are just meant to be.


End file.
